this could take all day

I will fear no evil, for my God is with me

We sang this song tonight at church and the lyrics had such great impact on a day like today. I do not live in fear, I live in hope. 

Psalm 27

Of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation— 
   whom shall I fear? 
The LORD is the stronghold of my life— 
   of whom shall I be afraid?

 ² When the wicked advance against me 
   to devour me, 
it is my enemies and my foes 
   who will stumble and fall. 
³ Though an army besiege me, 
   my heart will not fear; 
though war break out against me, 
   even then I will be confident.

 ⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD, 
   this only do I seek: 
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD 
   all the days of my life, 
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD 
   and to seek him in his temple. 
⁵ For in the day of trouble 
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling; 
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent 
   and set me high upon a rock.

 ⁶ Then my head will be exalted 
   above the enemies who surround me; 
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; 
   I will sing and make music to the LORD.

 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD; 
   be merciful to me and answer me. 
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” 
   Your face, LORD, I will seek. 
⁹ Do not hide your face from me, 
   do not turn your servant away in anger; 
   you have been my helper. 
Do not reject me or forsake me, 
   God my Savior. 
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me, 
   the LORD will receive me. 
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD; 
   lead me in a straight path 
   because of my oppressors. 
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, 
   for false witnesses rise up against me, 
   spouting malicious accusations.

 ¹³ I remain confident of this: 
   I will see the goodness of the LORD 
   in the land of the living. 
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD; 
   be strong and take heart 
   and wait for the LORD.

 

 

the question

Last night Darin and I had the most awesome privilege to witness an intimate acoustic set with our very favorite band: Jars of Clay. One of the songs they played is called “World’s Apart” and it honestly has been at the top of my favorite songs list for a long time.

I closed my eyes and listened with my heart.

“To love you - take my world apart

To need you – I am on my knees

To love you – take my world apart

To need you – broken on my knees”

That used to be my prayer. Years ago. When I didn’t really know what that would mean. God answered that prayer, took my world apart, and with amazing amounts of grace is rebuilding it. And the lessons I’m learning I hope sink so deep down that I never have to be reminded of them again.

Sometime shortly after I wrote the last journal-y post, I picked up the book “Me, Myself and Bob” by Phil Vischer. The book had been on my to-read list for a while, but I figured now would be a good time to read a story written for “anyone who has ever lost a dream.” After retrieving my copy from the library hold shelf I devoured it in two days. The story of the rise and fall of Big Idea Productions (including the stories of the creation of Veggie Tales, which since the days of high school youth group I have always loved) was really interesting, but I knew there was something waiting for me in the last pages of the book. And there certainly was.

Phil concludes his sad tale of loosing it all by re-telling the story of the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings chapter 4, who after being given a son after many years of waiting and hoping for one, loses him. (If you’re not familiar, you really should click on over. It is quite a crazy tale.) And then Phil stopped me cold with this thought he heard from a friend:

“If God gives you a dream, and the dream comes to life and God shows up in it, and then the dream dies, it may be that God wants to see what is more important to you – the dream or him. And once he’s seen that, you may get your dream back. Or you may not, and you may live the rest of your life without it. But that will be okay, because you will have God.”

And with those few words I felt God was looking right at me and asking the question “What is more important, Deanna? Me or the camping thing? Because I took that camping thing away for a reason, and now you need to decide. Me? Or the dream?”

Phil continued to share some thoughts from the great C.S. Lewis who once said “He who has God plus many things has nothing more than he who has God alone.” Phil: "If God is infinite, we can’t add anything to him. Nothing, added to God, can meet our needs any more than God alone. So we need to put everything in that blank.” For me, that meant “She who has camping ministry, plus God has nothing more than she who has God alone.” Or “She who has a life raising children in the midst of camping ministry has nothing more than she who has God alone.” Or “She who has great impact on the lives of college women has nothing more than she who has God alone.”

All my life I’ve wanted to be a world-changer. I was raised by parents who were world-changers. I lived on an island full of dreamers and world-changers. I served a God who said I wasn’t just put on this earth to waste space, but to change the world. I worked and studied alongside people who were called to BIG things, in BIG places, and I wanted to be right in the thick of it. My dreams were big dreams of impacting the world for the better in the name of Jesus.

Expectations came down a few notches when I chose a few years ago to leave it all behind and become a stay-at home mama. But that was okay, because I was gonna raise me some world-changers.

And then I got the chance to work alongside my husband in discipling a great group of college-aged world changers. And I was busy doing that.

And doing lots of other stuff too. Good stuff. God stuff.

Or so I thought.

Until I was asked the question.

“Is it Me? Or is it ministry?”

 (More to come...)

Look Not Behind Thee

 

“She was too focused on the world she was leaving behind…She kind of longed to be there…She probably didn’t give it any consideration that her future could be better than her past…”

 

“That’s what faith is…Coming to believe that what God has for me is bigger and better than what I have going on…”

 

“It is a new year…move on.” 

Thank you to my Mormon friends for a message I need to hear. I still get pangs of sadness when I think about the life we left behind in leaving camp, but its time for me to move on and look forward and rejoice in the adventure God has before us.

 

This is a new year!

 

He delights over me with singing

Yesterday we studied this amazing verse from Zephania:

"The Lord your God is with you
he is mighty to save.
He takes great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Seriously? God sings over me?

Today he is singing over me with this song, and I am that little girl dancing in the warmth of his love.

fort fun

As a former Children's Pastor (and still one at heart) one of the most important things I wanted to teach our parents was the importance of religious education at home. We protestants tend to delegate the religious education of our children to an hour or two on the weekend while at church. Yet we parents have hundreds of hours with our kids with which to instill our values and beliefs. And we can integrate those lessons into our daily lives.

One thing our mormon friends have going for them is their concept of Family Home Evening. As described by Wikipedia:

"Family Home Evening (FHE) or Family Night, in the context of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, refers to one evening per week, usually Monday, that families are encouraged to spend together in study, prayer and other wholesome activities. According to the LDS Church, the purpose of FHE is to help families strengthen bonds of love with each other as well as provide an atmosphere where parents can teach their children principles of the gospel.

For most LDS families, Family Home Evening includes a game or fun activity, treats, and a short lesson. The responsibilities for each are often rotated among family members, so that even the youngest may be assisted in presenting a short lesson or devotional on a given topic. Parents often use this night as an opportunity to teach their children how to prepare talks and lessons, as well as how to conduct meetings. Family business for the week may be addressed and the family schedule reviewed."

But the Family Home Evening concept takes the religious education of kids up a notch in making it a more "formal", regularly scheduled event. I love that! I love the format. I love that it includes treats. I love that it allows a regular time for families to connect and review schedules. I love that every member of the family has a chance to develop part of the lesson. 

So we're working to incorporate some of these elements into our lives. In addition to short devotionals we try to do a few times a week (this includes a bible story, song, and prayer as a family), we've now got twice-a-month scheduled family fun nights. Right now they're just lighthearted and geared toward family time. Hopefully, as we all grow, we'll incorporate some of the more formal elements of FHE. (Of course, with our protestant beliefs.)

Darin gets to plan one family night, and I get to plan the other. 

Darin let me go first this Sunday.

I was hoping we could take part in a local park tour, but the weather wasn't cooperating. So instead we built a fort in the dining room, ate chocolate chip cookies with milk, and made up funny handshakes and codewords. Minus the kinks in the adult backs, we all had an awesome time. 

Here's Daisy peeking out the "skylight" for a photo op!

I'm certainly no super-mom, but I hope these times of family togetherness build the bonds that will last for years and years. (And I'm already praying that as teenagers our kids will still enjoy hanging out with us on family fun nights!)

truth

"Truth is always relevant, but truth is not always perceived as relevant." (rethinkgroup.org)

Stumbled upon this quote today as I was doing research for work and was caught quite off guard by it.  What a thought!  That truth is truth is truth, but how it is perceived as relevant depends on how we present it. 

I'm thinking a lot about how we teach kids truth.  How parents, and the church, seek to impart in children the love of their Creator and a desire to serve Him with their lives.  What does it all boil down to?  Is it knowing the 10 Commandments and the Romans Road without looking?  Is it rattling off the the names of all the disciples or being the fastest one to find 1 Timothy?  Is it spending a year learning all of the stories in the Bible so that you have knowledge of it all?

Or is it knowing the truth of God's love for you?  Is it learning what it means to make wise choices?  Is it learning how God's Word can be meaningful in your life?  Is it knowing how your relationship with Him is played out here on earth through our relationship with others?  Is it falling in love, a love so pure and deep and true that you would do anything to please your lover?

Next week I begin asking these questions with a team of people from church that I've called together.  Our goal is to set some goals.  Where are we going in Children's Ministry?  What are the 5 (or less) irredusable things we want kids to walk out of our ministry knowing?  How do our programs fit with these goals?

Nothing is off the table for me, I'm wiping the slate clean.  I want to do ministry with PURPOSE.  Funny though, I'm nervous about what will happen.  Sometimes I'm pretty radical around here.  And I didn't stack the team in my favor--I deliberately sought out people that don't always think the same as me.  I had to do that, if our plans will have any buy-in at all.  I just have to really wear my leadership hat for this one.

I'm always growing, always learning.  I love that about my job.